Eight Years Later

In Blackwater Woods

Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars

of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,

the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders

of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is

nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side

is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

“In Blackwater Woods” by Mary Oliver, from American Primitive. (c) Back Bay Books, 1983.

Robert Howard Next Step Award

by John Edson

Robert Howard Next Step Award

We’re quickly coming up on the 8th anniversary presentation of the Robert Howard Next Step Award at the Stanford BioDesign graduation, June 10 around 6 pm. I have done a lot of things in my career that I’m proud of, but nothing comes close to honoring your memory in this way. We have been able to continue and strengthen this particular flavor of contribution you made in the world–and in a small way, keep you near us. Thanks to Matt Durack, Raj Doshi, Paul Yock and the LUNAR/McKinsey team for dreaming up this living memorial and keeping it going.

Nothing can replace your presence, your energy, your laugh, your thoughtful analytical brain and your amazing ladies.

Seven Years

Untitled [This is what was bequeathed us]

Gregory Orr, 1947

This is what was bequeathed us:
This earth the beloved left
And, leaving,
Left to us.

No other world
but this one:
Willows and the river
And the factory
With its black smokestacks.

No other shore, only this bank
On which the living gather.

No meaning but what we find here.
No purpose but what we make.

That, and the beloved’s clear instructions:
Turn me into song; sing me awake.

Design

DESIGN

by Robert Frost

I found a dimpled spider, fat and white,
On a white heal-all, holding up a moth
Like a white piece of rigid satin cloth–
Assorted characters of death and blight
Mixed ready to begin the morning right,
Like the ingredients of a witches’ broth–
A snow-drop spider, a flower like a froth,
And dead wings carried like a paper kite.

What had that flower to do with being white,
The wayside blue and innocent heal-all?
What brought the kindred spider to that height,
Then steered the white moth thither in the night?
What but design of darkness to appall?–
If design govern in a thing so small.

Thank you to Fred Johnson for sharing this poem and the following thoughts:

We find ourselves thinking of the Howard family as we vacation in Jasper, Banff, and Kootenay. At the service held for the El Carmelo community, the Rev. Janet Wheelock told us that God had not willed the terrible accident. That assertion got me to thinking about a poem by Robert Frost called Design, about whether the quirkiness of nature is indeed guided by design (I think not). The last couplet frames it all: “What but design of darkness to appall/ If design govern in a thing so small.”

We are so sorry for your loss. It’s been a loss for all of us.